How Facebook Gave Me a Family this Thanksgiving

November 26, 2009

“How are you spending Thanksgiving?” my coworker asked yesterday at five as we waited for our elevator.

“Just making dinner for my sister.”

My schizophrenic sister, my two rowdy dogs and me in my house. It’s become my new “family” tradition.

It’s almost 8:30, and I’m surprised she hasn’t called by now. She will call every half hour until I answer and tell her what time I will pick her up. I’m not complaining, just sharing the truth of how it is with her. Actually, the calls about Thanksgiving started two months ago.

“Nancy, are you going to have me over for Thanksgiving?”

A part of me bristles at being pinned down months in advance. “I’m not sure what my plans are, Bonnie. We can talk about it later.”

We’re really the only family we have. I have a sister who died, another one to whom I don’t talk because she makes up stories about me and others, and a brother with whom I haven’t kept in touch.

I was very close to my mother, who died in two thousand. If she were alive, she’d have taken the Greyhound from Minnesota to Montana to see my sister and me. My father died in nineteen eight three, twenty-six years ago this January. So it’s just Bonnie and me.

(I should mention that my family includes a precious daughter, Alex, who goes to school in Kentucky, far away from home. She’ll be back in two weeks, but she’ll spend Thanksgiving with her roommate and her family in West Virginia.)

When I was married more than a decade ago, my husband, daughter and I would spend time with my in-laws: a Norwegian family big on large birds, super-sized mashed potatoes and lefsa. I lived in Minnesota, and my mother would travel with us sometimes to see the in-laws. Though divorced, I’ve kept in touch with my ex-in-laws, but I wouldn’t think of traveling there to see them for a holiday.

I’ve told myself through the years that family is what I make of it. I have close friends, my daughter, and a sister who loves visiting me over the holidays. I was content to not have family connections.

Then this summer, I went back to Minnesota for the first time since my mother died. I saw my wonderful Aunt Evelyn, ninety-one and going strong. We spent hours together talking about family. It was so nice to know someone who has been there my whole life.

My family blossomed a few months ago when I joined Facebook. Two nieces (whom I’ve never met) and my brother’s wife contacted me. I’ve met faraway relatives of my grandpa in Finland. I’ve connected with a second cousin and the wife of a cousin, both whom I haven’t seen in years. Another cousin whom I’ve never met stopped by to say hi, and he’s told me a bit of the family tree on my dad’s side. Through him, I’ve met another distant cousin.

The tapestry of my family is so much richer and deeper than I could imagine. This Thanksgiving, it will still be my sister and me at the dinner table, but I am grateful for the family I’m meeting, thanks to Facebook. Thanks for connecting with me.

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Posted by Nancy Brook | Filed Under Facebook, Family, Thanksgiving

Comments

Herb Blair says:

November 27, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Thank you so much for all that personal information you posted.
Your brother contacted me a year ago – from Arizona I believe. A computer crash lost that contact information but at the time he gave your and Bonnie’s phone number. Bonnie is named after my mother so I contacted her. Her brother had told her that his genealogy search indicated that she was related to the Queen of England. I started getting calls from Bonnie at least weekly asking me about the Queen. LOL so I share some of your frustration. I had thought she was a terrible pest but didn’t know why . You diagnosis explains everything. It gives me a basis for some compassion.
Thank you.
Herb

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jimhorrell says:

November 28, 2009 at 12:11 am

I agree that family is important and it is nice to celebrate our family around Thanksgiving time and throughout the year. I also thought it was appropriate how you also included the members of your family who have passed away.

My mother-in-law passed away on Christmas Eve several years ago. She had a big impact on my life and the lives of my family. My son was born with a congenital heart defect and it was Grandma who we frequently turned to for strength and support. Our son has had 5 heart surgeries so far and is stable right now. However, we will always feel the love and support given to us by Grandma. She spent much of her time taking care of our son and spent many sleepless nights in our son’s hospital room after his surgeries. I realize parents are supposed to do that for their children, but you don’t argue with Grandma.

Jim Horrell

Coincidently, this year our son’s 15th birthday was on Thanksgiving Day. With all the medical situations we have encountered with him, we have a special reason to be thankful. Our son is alive and that is a gift.

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Shermika says:

November 28, 2009 at 12:16 am

I really like this post as it shows how the internet allows us to connect with long-lost relatives. Very heart-warming!

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C.F. Jackson says:

December 1, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Hi Nancy,

Very nice piece! I really enjoyed it. As
a matter of fact, I attended college in
Kentucky at Georgetown. And really
interesting, my roommate was from
West Virginia. :o)

I never did Thanksgiving there, but other
weekends were wonderful.

It’s amazing how this virtual/digital world
has connected a world once disconnected.
You shared a message that’s filled with hope
and inspiration.

Have an excellent Tuesday!

Won’t Be Denied,
C.F. Jackson
The Authority Site For Entrepreneurs & Authors
http://www.WebsiteMakeoverWorkshop.com

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