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How You Can Get Support for Your Big Leap of Success and Feeling Better in 2011

January 15, 2011

Guest Blog by Tom Marcoux

When was your last epiphany? When did something happen that got you feeling like a cool, refreshing breeze flowed over you during a scorching day?

My recent epiphany began when one graduate student bellowed: “I’m so proud of you!” in response to another student’s speech. (I teach public speaking.)

Wow! Her voice and words (“I’m so proud of you!”) were energizing!

“Did you all hear that?” I asked the other students.

I realized that the student’s supportive comment was not about pride.

Really, it was about joy and celebrating the magnificence inside the student who gave the speech.

It’s about celebrating your natural talent and your efforts that you placed into something.

The person who says “I’m so proud of you” is connecting your joy and her joy.

When was the last time someone supported you and said, “I’m so proud of you!”?

That long ago, huh?

And some of us may not remember hearing these words, ever.

Three things for you and me to do:

  1. Get some true supporters.
  2. Regularly say “I’m so proud of you” to yourself.
  3. Let go of depending on certain people for approval. (They may not know how to give approval ever.)

I invite you to do something each day to say “I’m so proud of you!” to yourself. I write in my Daily Journal of Blessings and Victories each night just before going to sleep. I take 3 minutes and connect with the good parts of my life. As I write down my positive actions that I did that particular day,  I am — in a way — saying, “I’m so proud of you!” to myself. I am acknowledging my own effort.

[I also invite my graduate students to write my encouraging comments (from my one-to-one coaching sessions on their speech) on one page (their "Good Work!" page). During various moments through the semester, I invite the students to read out loud my comments so that they connect with my praise of their work and efforts. This is important because artists (including me) tend to spend most of our time "fixing things" and often receiving tough feedback. We need to consciously pay attention to what we've done well! In fact, researchers note that it takes 10 seconds to make an impression on your long term memory . . . this is something I discuss in my new book 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment Using Your Divine Gifts -- which debuts February 2011.]

Let’s face this together: often, the people we love (and hope will give us some support or approval) are too distracted, tired or even in pain to pay attention to our little victories and even our pain.

Pay attention and approve of yourself. Raise your own energy.

Every top performer I have met has ways to nurture herself or himself.

Support is crucial for your big leap of success and feeling better.

Put some energy into this, and it will pay out big time!

Tom Marcoux is known as America’s Communication Coach, and author of 9 books sold in 15 countries (3 books on His new book debuting February 2011 is “10 Seconds to… Wealth: Master the Moment Using Your Divine Gifts.” An award-winning speaker, Marcoux guides CEOs, business owners in effective executive speaking. Member of the National Speakers Association, Tom is a guest lecturer: Stanford University, National Association of Broadcasters Conferences. Get a Free Report at Tom’s blog:

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